Friday, 18 June 2021

No 1

 

THE DIARY OF A PROVINCIAL LADY

 

PAR

 

 

 

THE DIARY OF A PROVINCIAL LADY

 

 

 

_November 7th._--Plant the indoor bulbs. Just as I am in the middle

of them, Lady Boxe calls. I say, untruthfully, how nice to see her, and

beg her to sit down while I just finish the bulbs. Lady B. makes

determined attempt to sit down in armchair where I have already placed two bulb-bowls and the bag of charcoal, is headed off just in time, and takes the sofa.

 

Do I know, she asks, how very late it is for indoor bulbs? September,

really, or even October, is the time. Do I know that the only really

reliable firm for hyacinths is Somebody of Haarlem? Cannot catch the name

of the firm, which is Dutch, but reply Yes, I do know, but think it my

duty to buy Empire products. Feel at the time, and still think, that this

is an excellent reply. Unfortunately Vicky comes into the drawing-room

later and says: "O Mummie, are those the bulbs we got at Woolworths?"

 

Lady B. stays to tea. (_Mem_.: Bread-and-butter too thick. Speak to

Ethel.) We talk some more about bulbs, the Dutch School of Painting, our

Vicar's wife, sciatica, and _All Quiet on the Western Front_.

 

(Query: Is it possible to cultivate the art of conversation when living

in the country all the year round?)

 

Lady B. enquires after the children. Tell her that Robin--whom I refer to

in a detached way as "the boy" so that she shan't think I am foolish

about him--is getting on fairly well at school, and that Mademoiselle

says Vicky is starting a cold.

 

Do I realise, says Lady B., that the Cold Habit is entirely unnecessary,

and can be avoided by giving the child a nasal douche of salt-and-water

every morning before breakfast? Think of several rather tart and witty

rejoinders to this, but unfortunately not until Lady B.'s Bentley has

taken her away.

 

Finish the bulbs and put them in the cellar. Feel that after all cellar

is probably draughty, change my mind, and take them all up to the attic.

 

Cook says something is wrong with the range.

 

 

_November 8th._--Robert has looked at the range and says nothing

wrong whatever. Makes unoriginal suggestion about pulling out dampers.

Cook very angry, and will probably give notice. Try to propitiate her by

saying that we are going to Bournemouth for Robin's half-term, and that

will give the household a rest. Cook replies austerely that they will

take the opportunity to do some extra cleaning. Wish I could believe this

was true.

 

Preparations for Bournemouth rather marred by discovering that Robert, in

bringing down the suit-cases from the attic, has broken three of the

bulb-bowls. Says he understood that I had put them in the cellar, and so

wasn't expecting them.

 

 

_November 11th.--Bournemouth._ Find that history, as usual, repeats

itself. Same hotel, same frenzied scurry round the school to find Robin,

same collection of parents, most of them also staying at the hotel.

Discover strong tendency to exchange with fellow-parents exactly the same

remarks as last year, and the year before that. Speak of this to Robert,

who returns no answer. Perhaps he is afraid of repeating himself? This

suggests Query: Does Robert, perhaps, take in what I say even when he

makes no reply?

 

Find Robin looking thin, and speak to Matron who says brightly, Oh no,

she thinks on the whole he's put _on_ weight this term, and then

begins to talk about the New Buildings. (Query: Why do all schools have

to run up New Buildings about once in every six months?)

 

Take Robin out. He eats several meals, and a good many sweets. He

produces a friend, and we take both to Corfe Castle. The boys climb,

Robert smokes in silence, and I sit about on stones. Overhear a woman

remark, as she gazes up at half a tower, that has withstood several

centuries, that This looks _fragile_--which strikes me as a singular

choice of adjective. Same woman, climbing over a block of solid masonry,

points out that This has evidently fallen off somewhere.

 

Take the boys back to the hotel for dinner. Robin says, whilst the friend

is out of hearing: "It's been nice for us, taking out Williams, hasn't

it?" Hastily express appreciation of this privilege.

 

Robert takes the boys back after dinner, and I sit in hotel lounge with

several other mothers and we all talk about our boys in tones of

disparagement, and about one another's boys with great enthusiasm.

 

Am asked what I think of _Harriet Hume_ but am unable to say, as I

have not read it. Have a depressed feeling that this is going to be

another case of _Orlando_ about which was perfectly able to talk

most intelligently until I read it, and found myself unfortunately unable

to understand any of it.

 

Robert comes up very late and says he must have dropped asleep over the

_Times_. (Query: Why come to Bournemouth to do this?)

 

Postcard by the last post from Lady B. to ask if I have remembered that

there is a Committee Meeting of the Women's Institute on the 14th. Should

not dream of answering this.

 

_November 12th._--Home yesterday and am struck, as so often before,

by immense accumulation of domestic disasters that always await one after

any absence. Trouble with kitchen range has resulted in no hot water,

also Cook says the mutton has _gone_, and will I speak to the

butcher, there being no excuse weather like this. Vicky's cold, unlike

the mutton, hasn't gone. Mademoiselle says, "Ah, cette petite! Elle ne

sera peut-être pas longtemps pour ce bas monde, madame." Hope that this

is only her Latin way of dramatising the situation.

 

Robert reads the _Times_ after dinner, and goes to sleep.

 

_November 13th._--Interesting, but disconcerting, train of thought

started by prolonged discussion with Vicky as to the existence or

otherwise of a locality which she refers to throughout as H.E.L. Am

determined to be a modern parent, and assure her that there is not, never

has been, and never could be, such a place. Vicky maintains that there

_is_, and refers me to the Bible. I become more modern than ever,

and tell her that theories of eternal punishment were invented to

frighten people. Vicky replies indignantly that they don't frighten her

in the least, she _likes_ to think about H.E.L. Feel that deadlock

has been reached, and can only leave her to her singular method of

enjoying herself.

 

(Query: Are modern children going to revolt against being modern, and if

so, what form will reaction of modern parents take?)

 

Much worried by letter from the Bank to say that my account is overdrawn

to the extent of Eight Pounds, four shillings, and fourpence. Cannot

understand this, as was convinced that I still had credit balance of Two

Pounds, seven shillings, and sixpence. Annoyed to find that my accounts,

contents of cash-box, and counterfoils in cheque-book, do not tally.

(_Mem_.: Find envelope on which I jotted down Bournemouth expenses,

also little piece of paper (probably last leaf of grocer's book) with

note about cash payment to sweep. This may clear things up.)

 

Take a look at bulb-bowls on returning suit-case to attic, and am

inclined to think it looks as though the cat had been up here. If so,

this will be the last straw. Shall tell Lady Boxe that I sent all my

bulbs to a sick friend in a nursing-home.

 

_November 14th._--Arrival of Book of the Month choice, and am

disappointed. History of a place I am not interested in, by an author I

do not like. Put it back into its wrapper again and make fresh choice

from Recommended List. Find, on reading small literary bulletin enclosed

with book, that exactly this course of procedure has been anticipated,

and that it is described as being "the mistake of a lifetime". Am much

annoyed, although not so much at having made (possibly) mistake of a

lifetime, as at depressing thought of our all being so much alike that

intelligent writers can apparently predict our behaviour with perfect

accuracy.

 

Decide not to mention any of this to Lady B., always so tiresomely

superior about Book of the Month as it is, taking up attitude that she

does not require to be told what to read. (Should like to think of good

repartee to this.)

 

Letter by second post from my dear old school-friend Cissie Crabbe,

asking if she may come here for two nights or so on her way to Norwich.

(Query: Why Norwich? Am surprised to realise that anybody ever goes to,

lives at, or comes from, Norwich, but quite see that this is unreasonable

of me. Remind myself how very little one knows of the England one lives

in, which vaguely suggests a quotation. This, however, does not

materialise.)

 

Many years since we last met, writes Cissie, and she expects we have both

_changed_ a good deal. P.S. Do I remember the dear old pond, and the

day of the Spanish Arrowroot. Can recall, after some thought, dear old

_pond_, at bottom of Cissie's father's garden, but am completely

baffled by Spanish Arrowroot. (Query: Could this be one of the Sherlock

Holmes stories? Sounds like it.)

 

Reply that we shall be delighted to see her, and what a lot we shall have

to talk about, after all these years! (This, I find on reflection, is not

true, but cannot re-write letter on that account.) Ignore Spanish

Arrowroot altogether.

 

Robert, when I tell him about dear old school-friend's impending arrival,

does not seem pleased. Asks what we are expected to _do_ with her. I

suggest showing her the garden, and remember too late that this is hardly

the right time of the year. At any rate, I say, it will be nice to talk

over old times--(which reminds me of the Spanish Arrowroot reference

still unfathomed).

 

Speak to Ethel about the spare room, and am much annoyed to find that one

blue candlestick has been broken, and the bedside rug has gone to the

cleaners, and cannot be retrieved in time. Take away bedside rug from

Robert's dressing-room, and put it in spare room instead, hoping he will

not notice its absence.

 

_November 15th._--Robert does notice absence of rug, and says he

must have it back again. Return it to dressing-room and take small and

inferior dyed mat from the night-nursery to put in spare room.

Mademoiselle is hurt about this and says to Vicky, who repeats it to me,

that in this country she finds herself treated like a worm.

 

_November 17th._--Dear old school-friend Cissie Crabbe due by the

three o'clock train. On telling Robert this, he says it is most

inconvenient to meet her, owing to Vestry Meeting, but eventually agrees

to abandon Vestry Meeting. Am touched. Unfortunately, just after he has

started, telegram arrives to say that dear old school-friend has missed

the connection and will not arrive until seven o'clock. This means

putting off dinner till eight, which Cook won't like. Cannot send message

to kitchen by Ethel, as it is her afternoon out, so am obliged to tell

Cook myself. She is not pleased. Robert returns from station, not pleased

either. Mademoiselle, quite inexplicably, says, "Il ne manquait que ca!"

(This comment wholly unjustifiable, as non-appearance of Cissie Crabbe

cannot concern her in any way. Have often thought that the French are

tactless.)

 

Ethel returns, ten minutes late, and says Shall she light fire in spare

room? I say No, it is not cold enough--but really mean that Cissie is no

longer, in my opinion, deserving of luxuries. Subsequently feel this to

be unworthy attitude, and light fire myself. It smokes.

 

Robert calls up to know What is that Smoke? I call down that It is

Nothing. Robert comes up and opens the window and shuts the door and says

It will Go all right Now. Do not like to point out that the open window

will make the room cold.

 

Play Ludo with Vicky in drawing-room.

 

Robert reads the _Times_ and goes to sleep, but wakes in time to

make second expedition to the station. Thankful to say that this time he

returns with Cissie Crabbe, who has put on weight, and says several times

that she supposes we have both _changed_ a good deal, which I

consider unnecessary.

 

Take her upstairs--spare room like an icehouse, owing to open window, and

fire still smoking, though less--She says room is delightful, and I leave

her, begging her to ask for anything she wants--(_Mem_.: tell Ethel

she _must_ answer spare room bell if it rings--Hope it won't.)

 

Ask Robert while dressing for dinner what he thinks of Cissie. He says he

has not known her long enough to judge. Ask if he thinks her

good-looking. He says he has not thought about it. Ask what they talked

about on the way from the station. He says he does not remember.

 

_November 19th._--Last two days very, very trying, owing to quite

unexpected discovery that Cissie Crabbe is strictly on a diet. This

causes Robert to take a dislike to her. Utter impossibility of obtaining

lentils or lemons at short notice makes housekeeping unduly difficult.

Mademoiselle in the middle of lunch insists on discussing diet question,

and several times exclaims: "Ah, mon doux St. Joseph!" which I consider

profane, and beg her never to repeat.

 

Consult Cissie about the bulbs, which look very much as if the mice had

been at them. She says: Unlimited Watering, and tells me about her own

bulbs at Norwich. Am discouraged.

 

Administer Unlimited Water to the bulbs (some of which goes through the

attic floor on to the landing below), and move half of them down to the

cellar, as Cissie Crabbe says attic is airless.

 

Our Vicar's wife calls this afternoon. Says she once knew someone who had

relations living near Norwich, but cannot remember their name. Cissie

Crabbe replies that very likely if we knew their name we might find she'd

heard of them, or even _met_ them. We agree that the world is a

small place. Talk about the Riviera, the new waist-line, choir-practice,

the servant question, and Ramsay MacDonald.

 

_November 22nd._--Cissie Crabbe leaves. Begs me in the kindest way

to stay with her in Norwich (where she has already told me that she lives

in a bed-sitting-room with two cats, and cooks her own lentils on a

gas-ring). I say Yes, I should love to. We part effusively.

 

Spend entire morning writing the letters I have had to leave unanswered

during Cissie's visit.

 

Invitation from Lady Boxe to us to dine and meet distinguished literary

friends staying with her, one of whom is the author of _Symphony in

Three Sexes_. Hesitate to write back and say that I have never heard

of _Symphony in Three Sexes_, so merely accept. Ask for _Symphony

in Three Sexes_ at the library, although doubtfully. Doubt more than

justified by tone in which Mr. Jones replies that it is not in stock, and

never has been.

 

Ask Robert whether he thinks I had better wear my Blue or my

Black-and-gold at Lady B.'s. He says that either will do. Ask if he can

remember which one I wore last time. He cannot. Mademoiselle says it was

the Blue, and offers to make slight alterations to Black-and-gold which

will, she says, render it unrecognisable. I accept, and she cuts large

pieces out of the back of it. I say: "Pas trop décolletée," and she

replies intelligently: "Je comprends, Madame ne desire pas se voir nue au

salon."

 

(Query: Have not the French sometimes a very strange way of expressing

themselves, and will this react unfavourably on Vicky?)

 

Tell Robert about the distinguished literary friends, but do not mention

_Symphony in Three Sexes_. He makes no answer.

 

Have absolutely decided that if Lady B. should introduce us to

distinguished literary friends, or anyone else, as Our Agent, and Our

Agent's Wife, I shall at once leave the house.

 

Tell Robert this. He says nothing. (_Mem_.: Put evening shoes out of

window to see if fresh air will remove smell of petrol.)

 

_November 25th._--Go and get hair cut and have manicure in the

morning, in honour of Lady B.'s dinner party. Should like new pair of

evening stockings, but depressing communication from Bank, still

maintaining that I am overdrawn, prevents this, also rather unpleasantly

worded letter from Messrs. Frippy and Coleman requesting payment of

overdue account by return of post. Think better not to mention this to

Robert, as bill for coke arrived yesterday, also reminder that Rates are

much overdue, therefore write civilly to Messrs. F. and C. to the effect

that cheque follows in a few days. (Hope they may think I have

temporarily mislaid cheque-book.)

 

Black-and-gold as rearranged by Mademoiselle very satisfactory, but am

obliged to do my hair five times owing to wave having been badly set.

Robert unfortunately comes in just as I am using bran-new and expensive

lip-stick, and objects strongly to result.

 

(Query: If Robert could be induced to go to London rather oftener, would

he perhaps take broader view of these things?)

 

Am convinced we are going to be late, as Robert has trouble in getting

car to start, but he refuses to be agitated. Am bound to add that

subsequent events justify this attitude, as we arrive before anybody

else, also before Lady B. is down. Count at least a dozen Roman hyacinths

growing in bowls all over the drawing-room. (Probably grown by one of the

gardeners, whatever Lady B. may say. Resolve not to comment on them in

any way, but am conscious that this is slightly ungenerous.)

 

Lady B. comes down wearing silver lace frock that nearly touches the

floor all round, and has new waist-line. This may or not be becoming, but

has effect of making everybody else's frock look out-of-date.

 

Nine other people present besides ourselves, most of them staying in

house. Nobody is introduced. Decide that a lady in what looks like blue

tapestry is probably responsible for _Symphony in Three Sexes_.

 

Just as dinner is announced Lady B. murmurs to me: "I've put you next to

Sir William. He's interested in _water-supplies_, you know, and I

thought you'd like to talk to him about local conditions."

 

Find, to my surprise, that Sir W. and I embark almost at once on the

subject of Birth Control. Why or how this topic presents itself cannot

say at all, but greatly prefer it to water-supplies. On the other side of

the table, Robert is sitting next to _Symphony in Three Sexes_. Hope

he is enjoying himself.

 

Conversation becomes general. Everybody (except Robert) talks about

books. We all say (a) that we have read _The Good Companions_, (b)

that it is a very _long_ book, (c) that it was chosen by the Book of

the Month Club in America and must be having immense sales, and (d) that

American sales are What Really Count. We then turn to _High Wind in

Jamaica_ and say (a) that it is quite a short book, (b) that we

hated--or, alternatively, adored--it, and (c) that it Really _Is_

exactly _Like_ Children. A small minority here surges into being,

and maintains No, they Cannot Believe that any children in the World

wouldn't ever have _noticed_ that John wasn't there any more. They

can swallow everything else, they say, but not _that_. Discussion

very active indeed. I talk to pale young man with horn-rimmed glasses,

sitting at my left-hand, about Jamaica, where neither of us has ever

been. This leads--but cannot say how--to stag-hunting, and eventually to

homeopathy. (_Mem_.: Interesting, if time permitted, to trace train

of thought leading on from one topic to another. Second, and most

disquieting idea: perhaps no such train of thought exists.) Just as we

reach interchange of opinions about growing cucumbers under glass, Lady

B. gets up.

 

Go into the drawing-room, and all exclaim how nice it is to see the fire.

Room very cold. (Query: Is this good for the bulbs?) Lady in blue

tapestry takes down her hair, which she says she is growing, and puts it

up again. We all begin to talk about hair. Depressed to find that

everybody in the world, except apparently myself, has grown, or is

growing, long hair again. Lady B. says that Nowadays, there Isn't a

Shingled Head to be seen _anywhere_, either in London, Paris, or New

York. Nonsense.

 

Discover, in the course of the evening, that the blue tapestry has

nothing whatever to do with literature, but is a Government Sanitary

Inspector, and that _Symphony in Three Sexes_ was written by pale

young man with glasses. Lady B. says, Did I get him on to the subject of

_perversion_, as he is always so amusing about it? I reply

evasively.

 

Men come in, and all herded into billiard room (just as drawing-room

seems to be getting slightly warmer) where Lady B. inaugurates unpleasant

game of skill with billiard balls, involving possession of a Straight

Eye, which most of us do not possess. Robert does well at this. Am

thrilled, and feel it to be more satisfactory way of acquiring

distinction than even authorship of _Symphony in Three Sexes_.

 

Congratulate Robert on the way home, but he makes no reply.

 

_November 26th._--Robert says at breakfast that he thinks we are no

longer young enough for late nights.

 

Frippy and Coleman regret that they can no longer allow account to stand

over, but must request favour of a cheque by return, or will be

compelled, with utmost regret, to take Further Steps. Have written to

Bank to transfer Six Pounds, thirteen shillings, and tenpence from

Deposit Account to Current. (This leaves Three Pounds, seven shillings,

and twopence, to keep Deposit Account open.) Decide to put off paying

milk book till next month, and to let cleaners have something on account

instead of full settlement. This enables me to send F. and C. cheque,

post-dated Dec. 1st, when allowance becomes due. Financial instability

very trying.

 

_November 28th._--Receipt from F. and C. assuring me of attention to

my future wishes--but evidently far from realising magnitude of effort

involved in setting myself straight with them.

 

_December 1st._--Cable from dear Rose saying she lands at Tilbury on

10th. Cable back welcome, and will meet her Tilbury, 10th. Tell Vicky

that her godmother, my dearest friend, is returning home after three

years in America. Vicky says: "Oh, will she have a present for me?" Am

disgusted with her mercenary attitude and complain to Mademoiselle, who

replies: "Si la Sainte Vierge revenait sur la terre, madame, ce serait

notre petite Vicky." Do not at all agree with this. Moreover, in other

moods Mademoiselle first person to refer to Vicky as "ce petit demon

enrage".

 

(Query: Are the Latin races always as sincere as one would wish them to

be?)

 

_December 3rd._--Radio from dear Rose, landing Plymouth 8th after

all. Send return message, renewed welcomes, and will meet her Plymouth.

 

Robert adopts unsympathetic attitude and says This is Waste of Time and

Money. Do not know if he means cables, or journey to meet ship, but feel

sure better not to enquire. Shall go to Plymouth on 7th. (_Mem_.:

Pay grocer's book before I go, and tell him last lot of gingernuts were

soft. Find out first if Ethel kept tin properly shut.)

 

_December 8th.--Plymouth._ Arrived last night, terrific storm, ship

delayed. Much distressed at thought of Rose, probably suffering severe

sea-sickness. Wind howls round hotel, which shakes, rain lashes against

window-pane all night. Do not like my room and have unpleasant idea that

someone may have committed a murder in it. Mysterious door in corner

which I feel conceals a corpse. Remember all the stories I have read to

this effect, and cannot, sleep. Finally open mysterious door and find

large cupboard, but no corpse. Go back to bed again.

 

Storm worse than ever in the morning, am still more distressed at thought

of Rose, who will probably have to be carried off ship in state of

collapse.

 

Go round to Shipping Office and am told to be on docks at ten o'clock.

Having had previous experience of this, take fur coat, camp-stool, and

copy of _American Tragedy_ as being longest book I can find, and

camp myself on docks. Rain stops. Other people turn up and look enviously

at camp-stool. Very old lady in black totters up and down till I feel

guilty, and offer to give up camp-stool to her. She replies: "Thank you,

thank you, but my Daimler is outside, and I can sit in that when I wish

to do so."

 

Return to _American Tragedy_ feeling discouraged.

 

Find _American Tragedy_ a little oppressive, but read on and on for

about two hours when policeman informs me that tender is about to start

for ship, if I wish to go on board. Remove self, camp-stool, and

_American Tragedy_ to tender. Read for forty minutes. (Mem.: Ask

Rose if American life is really like that.)

 

Very, very unpleasant half-hour follows. Camp-stool shows tendency to

slide about all over the place, and am obliged to abandon _American

Tragedy_ for the time being.

 

Numbers of men of seafaring aspect walk about and look at me. One of them

asks Am I a good sailor? No, I am not. Presently ship appears, apparently

suddenly rising up from the middle of the waves, and ropes are dangled in

every direction. Just as I catch sight of Rose, tender is carried away

from ship's side by colossal waves.

 

Consoled by reflection that Rose is evidently not going to require

carrying on shore, but presently begin to feel that boot, as they say,

may be on the other leg.

 

More waves, more ropes, and tremendous general activity.

 

I return to camp-stool, but have no strength left to cope with

_American Tragedy_. A man in oilskins tells me I am In the Way

there, Miss.

 

Remove myself, camp-stool, and _American Tragedy_ to another corner.

A man in sea-boots says that If I stay there, I may get Badly Knocked

About.

 

Renewed déménagement of self, camp-stool, _American Tragedy_. Am

slightly comforted by having been called "Miss".

 

Catch glimpse of Rose from strange angles as tender heaves up and down.

Gangway eventually materialises, and self, camp-stool, and _American

Tragedy_ achieve the ship. Realise too late that camp-stool and

_American Tragedy_ might equally well have remained where they were.

 

Dear Rose most appreciative of effort involved by coming to meet her, but

declares herself perfectly good sailor, and slept all through last

night's storm. Try hard not to feel unjustly injured about this.

 

     

 

To be continued

 

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No 15

  THE DIARY OF A PROVINCIAL LADY                         _ _ _September 24th._--Frightful welter of packing, putting...